Declaration of an Independent She

Make way for the independent woman, 'cause she woke up like that, and tomorrow she's gonna wake up the same way, so you might as well get used to it.

But before we go any further with this one, I have to say that I'm a little puzzled as to why in the hell we are still using the designation of "independent woman".  And with the help of a few close friends, I have concluded that to identify a woman as independent, is to simply acknowledge that she is living without the need for assistance (typically male assistance) in obtaining her own.

She got her own house (yeah)

She got her own car (yeah)

2 jobs, work hard, you a bad broad (hell yeah)

And that's it? There's gotta be more.

Granted, there’s no naiveté to a chauvinistic history that has preceded our present moment, nor am I unaware of the hegemonic masculinity concept that is undoubtedly rooted into our social culture. Moreover, I embrace the importance of movements for liberation, suffrage, and equality; I acknowledge that the fight was and still is necessary today. Ironically, for me as a bystander on the other side of the gender wall, it seems that the agenda wasn’t so much of an attempt to create a new type of woman, but it was more of a move to get the rest of the world to recognize that which was determined from the beginning:  full equality for women in an equal partnership with men.

Easy.

History alone shows us that women are no less capable of handling business and making things happen for themselves ---

Therefore, in my opinion, to consistently look at educated women, with sound careers and money in their pockets as some type of enigma, is to step back 200 years into a suggestion that an XX chromosome negates the ability to think, work, thrive, and survive.  And it seems to me, that the use of a cliché "independent woman" moniker is a verbal re-affirmation of the belief that women are dependent by nature; and that only those who are self-sufficient will be viewed as crème de la crème (a good catch).

Independent women are the exception. Or the standard?

Independence should not be considered a rare phenomenon, seeing that at a certain point in all of our lives (men and women) there’s an arrival at a place where we are supposed to take care of ourselves. In adulthood, the rule is to position yourself to provide your own housing, transportation, and monetary support without relying on someone else to fend for you.

No kudos for being independent, it's expected. 

So fellas if we can agree that independence is not an exception to the rule; and our women are bringing these attributes to the table; then in reality, there's no reason for the brotherhood to be defensive and retarded by a woman's drive and desire to go get it. Naturally, She was made to do so.

 Unfortunately, our wicked social traditions are to blame for making us believe that man is first and a woman is second. - Me, TARZAN. You, jane. The same tradition tells us that a man should work the job, win the bread, while the woman maintains the home and raises the children.  It also suggests that there's monetary value on a man's worth as a leader of the household- so if your woman brings home more bacon than you do, she ultimately wears the pants, and you're the sucka. HA!

 As a result, some men are struggling to keep up on today's playing field, because this is not the same game that our great-grandparents played.  Some are finding difficulty in adapting to a woman with a greater interest in a corporate career than housewifery. Today, the struggle with a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife having a more lucrative job, rolling in a cleaner ride, or living in a bigger house is real. Real to the point to where some men are...

need I said it...

accused of..

(wait for it)

being INTIMIDATED

Shit.

Say it ain't so. Call it pride, low self-esteem, or ignorance, either way, we (fellas) have to get out of our own way.  Because if you go back as far as Creation, which I believe in, men and women were designed for partnership -- (teamwork), with each member contributing their unique characteristics for the greater good, with no partner being more important than the other. All parts working in concert.

 

....full equality for women in an equal partnership with men.

Why fret my brother?  There's no threat if Bae makes a few more dollars than you, since in the grand scheme, her contribution makes the overall situation better. Her hustle amplifies your growth. Her drive pushes you to the next level – but it only happens if you get your ass out of the way, be supportive, and appreciate the blessing.

 Because we all know the alternative – THOT in your POCKETS.

If there’s any doubt to what I’m saying, just look to one Stedman Graham – The Ultimate Example. The man has been involved with one of the wealthiest, most influential women in the world, and never flexes on IG or has a dramatic outburst about feeling overshadowed by his woman. His manhood can’t be questioned either, since he maintains his own grind and does well for himself without the cosign. And even though he doesn't get as much shine as O, pride doesn't prevent him from playing the background and enjoying the ride. But one can only imagine that in some capacity Mr. Graham has influenced Oprah's journey as a confidant, friend, and as a support agent. Not to mention, I bet Christmas and B’days must be outrageous. Talk about Win-Win. Kudos to you Sir for a job well done.

 Shit, honestly I've been riding this phenomenal woman train for a long time. I like it. I look for it. In my eyes, self-sufficiency, mixed with some aspiration, ingenuity, leadership make for a serious combination of sexy. Who wouldn't want that? And, if in the course of her grind she ends up making more money than me or being more famous, I'm good with that too. I will not be afraid.  I'll wash her clothes and cook her dinner too as soon as she gets home from work.

I ain’t ashamed to be a groupie if she’s a superstar.  Just let the star shine. --- BG

 Disclaimer: Brethren, this message is contingent on that fact that you are dealing with a down ass chick that's not disrespectful. Please be aware, there are women that may hold the fact that they have a larger bank account or better career situation over your head. They may also use this as a tool to degrade and emasculate you.  If you or anyone you know is in this situation, ABORT..I repeat ABORT. IMMEDIATELY