...God is great; God is good, let us thank him for our food. By his hands, we are fed; thank you for our daily bread - Amen.
An age old child prayer, that previous sentence has been recited by me and others for decades. Two of the first words a child learns are – “Thank You”. In fact, one of my favorite songs by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly is titled “Thank You”. Growing up in the South, in a black family, with traditional grandparents and firm parents that believed in GOD, gratitude was first preached, then expected and finally a way of life. From as far as I can remember, I’ve always been grateful and I’ve always thought I’ve showed gratitude. But recently (within the past year), intuition and gut have continuously asked a question that continued to repeat in my thoughts…What is true authentic Gratitude? That question evolved into; what is the power of true authentic Gratitude? Deeper thoughts on those two questions highlighted the fact that 1.) Words are powerful and 2.) Gratitude is a label that symbolizes something bigger than the words “Thank You”. It represents something intangible that aids the soul in propelling to its true authentic self. But, what is that something? For the past several months, I've tried to grasp my hands around the power of gratitude. I tried to understand the meaning behind quotes like “The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now. And the more grateful you are, the more you get.” – Oprah. After months of pondering these very same questions and bantering back and forth internally around the same topic, I'd like to share my thoughts on gratitude and how true gratitude empowers the individual so that he/she may enjoy a rich full life.
We Want More
…. America wants more and a popular AT&T commercial illustrates that very thought. As stated by the not so shy little girl, “More is better than less…because if stuff is not less…if there is more less stuff then you might..you might want to have some more and your parents won’t let you because there is only a little…we want more..we want more…like if you really like it, we want more. One of the cutest commercials to date, but a commercial I believe that speaks to the core of the gratitude debate – is more always better? Let me explain. Just like the commercial, we live in a society where we want more (better way of living, more money, bigger house, relationships, etc…). You name it, and we probably want more or bigger. For example, I am “grateful” for my apartment and I’m “grateful” I can pay the bills, but I want a bigger house. I am “thankful” that my car is paid off, but I would love to drive that new 7 series…Should I continue? For me, that’s where the discussion lies…if we are so focused on "more" do those thoughts, actions and wants overshadow our words of gratitude. In this case, does the universe highlight our thoughts, actions and wants but underline our words of gratitude – meaning are we attracting what our thoughts, actions and wants are putting out.
Stop and smell the roses
… My definition of true gratitude is peace and peace of mind in the present because the past confirms the future will be taken care of. Simply put, we need to stop and smell the roses more frequently and appreciate their existence. Peace is liberating because you accept the now – it’s that moment when you have no worries or cares. I am at peace on Friday’s from 5:30 – 8:00. I am at peace on Saturday mornings, when I look at the clock and roll over because I realize I don’t have to actually wake up and get out of bed. I am at peace on Saturday evenings when I sit down to enjoy a nice cocktail and a movie. I call those moments the “Best Part of the Week” because I truly value and appreciate those instances. Peace of mind are those moments when you have clarity and understanding – there’s a calmness and confidence. Peace of mind allows you to accept the now, because you know the past equipped you for this moment. Peace of mind is the composure one has when the game is on the line; that quiet confidence in your ability to make the game winning shot because of the hard work and extra time you put into your training during the off season. Peace of mind is that calmness you have because in fact you do have the money to pay for that unplanned emergency (i.e. new transmission in your jeep) that arose – you were prepared because you saved money for emergencies. Like the AT&T commercial, society teaches us to want more and want bigger. Parents want more for their children, technology companies like Samsung and Apple continue to foster and promote a culture where more, bigger and faster are better. While craving for more, we sometimes forget to appreciate what we do have because our focus and thoughts are on more. Subconsciously, this sort of behavior creates a mindset and generates subconscious thoughts of being unsatisfied or ungrateful. At that point, the mind wants more, then the body wants more and lastly, the soul wants more. This type of addiction can become just as unhealthy as an addiction on substance abuse. In addition, living in a cycle where you always want more or are searching for more is a form of confinement - its like being in a mental jail cell. That constant cycle of wanting more puts you on the hamster wheel of dissatisfaction and ungratefulness. Once you get on that wheel, it is hard to get off.
True gratitude is the only way off the obsession of wanting more or the hamster wheel of dissatisfaction and ungratefulness. In order to enjoy a full rich life you must operate out of a spirit of love and gratitude.
- Step 1 in true gratitude is understanding that life has a way of preparing you for the moment. Personally, I don’t believe in trials or tribulations or ups and downs. I believe lessons we learn along the way are equipping us for today. So the summation of yesterday prepares us for today. Once you fully and truly understand the first step, the 2nd step becomes easy.
- Step 2 you must accept the now. Accept it! The reason you are able to accept it, is because you understand you are either being prepared for tomorrow or you are using what you learned for today. So for step 2, just accept it.
- Finally, step 3. Know that tomorrow is taken care of because of steps 1 and 2. When you can fully conquer steps 1 and 2, then step 3 is a way of life.
P.S. One of my all time favorite songs is "Thank You", by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. The reasons I love that song are:
- The words are easy to understand at any age (young or old)
- The words can be understood and translated in multiple languages
- Anyone can say those words.
Tight Tight
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