Red Flag #1: She told me, "I want to feel secure and have my feelings protected..."
Now Lisa, like most of us at this stage had been in bad relationships before. Relationships filled with unfaithfulness, lack of appreciation, and her kindness being taken advantage of. And it's well understood that human nature encourages us to develop ways to cope with the PTSD that results from bad events. But once it happens we make an agreement with ourselves to never let that BS happen to us again -- by any means necessary. Even though we do our best to deal with the hurts of the past, the scars often remain. The downside to this is that these same scars can negatively affect our future encounters, and so enters REALITY.
In translation, what Lisa was actually telling me in the beginning was that in order for me to get closer to her, it would be my responsibility to be 100% tuned in to her feelings and emotions, while also ensuring that she was protected from any uncertainties.
Definitely a tricky one, because as a Christian man, I understand that it's God's design for a man to be a protector of womanhood. To create an environment that enhances a woman's physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health.
But unfortunately, he did not give me omniscient abilities to be aware of every thought, feeling, or emotion another person is having. Additionally, I was not granted a magical power to fix every problem. But more importantly, he didn't give me the ability to fulfill voids or cure insecurities developed from the past.
As a result of the clash between Lisa's expectations for me and my God given capabilities, we had 2 disagreements within 2 short months. Interestingly enough, in both instances Lisa made sure to let me know that if I had been doing my duties as a man, the breakdowns likely would not have occurred. Hmmmm. Exclusively my fault? Could some of the fault be found in some insecurities and faulty expectations built prior to my entry into the picture? So what are the responsibilities of a Christian woman? All good questions I know..but I never asked them because the DREAM wouldn't let me. Dammit.
But Reality was not done with me yet, because Red Flag #2 was coming into view..continued in Pt. 3.... --- BG
In translation, what Lisa was actually telling me in the beginning was that in order for me to get closer to her, it would be my responsibility to be 100% tuned in to her feelings and emotions, while also ensuring that she was protected from any uncertainties.
Definitely a tricky one, because as a Christian man, I understand that it's God's design for a man to be a protector of womanhood. To create an environment that enhances a woman's physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health.
But unfortunately, he did not give me omniscient abilities to be aware of every thought, feeling, or emotion another person is having. Additionally, I was not granted a magical power to fix every problem. But more importantly, he didn't give me the ability to fulfill voids or cure insecurities developed from the past.
As a result of the clash between Lisa's expectations for me and my God given capabilities, we had 2 disagreements within 2 short months. Interestingly enough, in both instances Lisa made sure to let me know that if I had been doing my duties as a man, the breakdowns likely would not have occurred. Hmmmm. Exclusively my fault? Could some of the fault be found in some insecurities and faulty expectations built prior to my entry into the picture? So what are the responsibilities of a Christian woman? All good questions I know..but I never asked them because the DREAM wouldn't let me. Dammit.
But Reality was not done with me yet, because Red Flag #2 was coming into view..continued in Pt. 3.... --- BG
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